PREFACE

Paulology

ology = study of … Paul

I believe in a mathematical universe.

I believe in numerology too.

Question: What is in a name?

Answer: A moon # and a sun #.

1 = A, J, S.  2 = B, K, T.  3 = C, L, U.  4 = D, M, V.  5 = E, N, W.  6 = F, O, X.  7 = G, P, Y.  

8 = H, Q, Z.  9 = I, R.

a u       P  a  u  l

1+3 = 4, 7+1+3+3 = 14 = 1+4 = 5

Paul = 4, 5  4 is the moon number (vowels added), while 5 is my sun number (sum of all letters).

     As you look at me, the moon # is on the left and controls the left side of my body while the sun is one the right and controls the right side of my body (opposites in my brain). 

     The moon phase is important as well. New moons are for new intentions. Full moons are a six-month check-up for the new moon six from months ago (www.drstandley.com). 

     I also believe that animals, birds and insect sightings have meaning which are called totems. There are an increasing number of totem websites. I have observed exceptions to descriptions given by others, such as, I have seen a goose all by itself (suppose to be two minimum), and I travelled to Jamaica but did not see a crow nor raven (they are supposed to exist all over the world). 

     Then there is time. 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55 and 11:11 appear often in my life. These are called angel numbers (http://www.ask-angels.com/spiritual-guidance/angels-and-numbers/).

     A fifth area of study is the playing deck cards as a form of tarot. I am a 7 of diamonds that is either the Millionaire’s Card (still working) or the card of Spiritual Values which in turn sent me on a quest to find out what the values are (see Lesson 40 when available). Places that we live in have a dual vibration. Fort Albany: 6,6 and Winneway: 6,6 are the previous two teaching communities that I have worked in. 

     Our life path’s number can be calculated by the day + month + year. Me: September 4th, 1964 is: 9+4+(1+9+6+4) = 9+4+(20) = 9+4+(2+0) = 9+4+2 = 15 = 1+5 = 6.  For each year that we have been alive, it is like we were born a day later and it is called our progressed life path number. At the time of this writing, my new progressed birthdate is October 27th, plus my original birth year = 10+9+2 = 21 = 3. And for this year, I should find out the numerological meaning of number 3. I like to use the website: https://www.numerology.com/bios/hans-decoz ...

     The moon phase, totems and time, are all that I need to guide me in life. It has taken me about two years to memorize the basic totem descriptions from the web. The angelic times and moon phases took little time to remember. This is the gypsy or shamanic life. 

6     1     8

7     5     3

2     9     4

I learnt that the 3x3 magic square above which came to me in a dream, turns out to be quite popular on the internet. Like some things in life, it contains secrets that must be interpreted wisely. 

     As above, my life path number is 6. At the time of writing, I was living in unit #1. 8 turned on its side is infinity, a business number, abundance all around me. My middle name starts with 7 and ends with 3. Paul goes from 4 to 5. Vukovich goes from 9 to 3. I was born in a 2 year, in the 9th month and on the 4th day. The above chart represents me well. See the Saturn square creation at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtBk2ggp5jez-AyX4GhwqPg . Notice that the odd numbers form a cross while the even numbers are at the corners. 

     3 turns out to be about creativity. Well I have a story to tell you about a horse that I met in the past. See: Lesson 36. 

Non-fiction

Lesson 12:  Pollywog’s Pond

Lesson 14:  Following the Gray Jay

Lesson 16:  Spirit Gray Jay

Lesson 18:  Crackers

Lesson 20:  Pay Attention to the Fox!

Lesson 24:  Squirrels Everywhere!

Lesson 26:  Pulling a Lucky Rabbit

Lesson 28:  A Moth’s Light

Lesson 30:  Acceptance

Lesson 32:  Choices

Lesson 34:  Travel Tips

Lesson 36:  Natasha

Lesson 38:  Not a Mad Bird

Lesson 40:  Spiritual Values

Fiction

Lesson 13:  Agent Goose Part 1

Lesson 15:  Agent Goose Part 2

Lesson 17:  Elephant Cries a River

Lesson 19:  Gloomy Turtle

Lesson 21:  Lion Party

Lesson 23:  Fast Like a Cheetah

Lesson 25:  Calm down Rhinoceros

Lesson 27:  Mad Monkey 

We would gather around the pond in the spring and summer. We were young boys about ten years of age. The pond was a circular depression about twenty feet across. Small trees taller than us surrounded the water. 

In the spring time we would check out the tadpoles swimming about. We would watch them with curiosity, and then talk about what we saw.

During the summer, we would swim amongst the frogs and lily pads to cool off.

Some thirty years later, I moved back into the same neighbourhood. I heard the frogs croaking in the spring time. I knew from the sound that the pond was still there, but I did not venture towards it during the spring nor summer. I only went along the trail past it on a snowmobile in the winter, seeing snowshoe prints towards its location. Somehow through the years, I lost the interest to revisit the place firsthand. 

In my house which was about a five-minute walk from the pond, I hung a print of my mother’s which reminded me of the pond since the print too had lily pads. I hung the print on the south wall in line with the pond’s actual location. 

Then a few years later, the community that I taught in, had croaking frogs that sounded like a quacking duck. I would look into the ditch thinking I would see a duck, I searched and searched, rarely spotting a blackish frog. Or I spotted movement in the tall grass. Or in the morning on the way to school, I would see a flattened frog that did not safely cross the road at night. It was amazing to see tens of eggs attached to an underwater branch. Of all places, not a pond, but a ditch was their home for about a month. Then they all disappeared, most likely onto the land.

From water to land. From emotion to a grounding experience. 

Now a frog ornament faces the front door and the easterly direction, me hoping for good health as well as wealth.

He is on the greatest mission of his life. He is trying to find the biggest prize on earth. He wants to find the love of his life. He wants to find a wife. 

Or is it fame? And with fame comes money. Wife or money?

Why not both?

Actually, I’m a goose so I don’t need the money. The ‘no need for money’ makes life easy. Nature provides. I just need some grass to eat. I prefer green grass. Did you know that vibrating grass has the same frequency as love? 528 Mhz.

So as long as I have grass, then I have love. I have what I need to survive. Food! Plus, I need water too. Grass=love + water. A simple equation. I only need a wife if I want to have a baby goose. Someone to follow in my flight path. Then in future years, he/she can fly before me and make flying easier. It was/is what we are born to do isn’t it?

A whack on the back of the neck! “Squack!” 

Oh no, it’s that older wiser goose. 

“Squack, squack.”

“I’ll try to snap out of it,” I reply. 

He waddles away towards the water as we are on the golf course, lots of green grass to peck at. Plus pools of water to dip into when round hard eggs fall from the sky. 

Just then, a white goose waddles past my sight. She’s different. A snow goose they call them. I’m a Canadian goose.

The people who hit those round eggs with sticks hang out in different colours. Why can’t I be with a white goose? I have never seen one of my kind with a white goose. 

A whack onto the back of my neck! “Squack!” It’s that older wiser goose again. He is always tired when we fly north or south, but he has a mean forewing. 

“OK, I will eat some more grass, the same frequency as love, and be happy.” Always eating grass. Need to find a different flock to hang out with and find truer love. I will have to wait until we fly south. Maybe then, no, the wrong time of year. I will have to wait until next spring, after we fly north, and settle into our nesting grounds, if I survive the trip, flying around those tall and wide trees with small suns, those half-moons in the way, dive and fly around when my relatives fall from the sky … It is not easy being a goose. I will wait until then. 

Looking out the front window of my first house, I saw a jay. It was not a blue jay as I expected. It had a gray and white head. It landed in the spruce tree in my front left yard. 

I had never seen a gray jay near my house before. I only remember seeing a gray jay or whiskeyjack near James Bay when I travelled into the bush on a Sunday for a fire, and it would come near after being attracted by the smoke and hoping for a hand-out. So, seeing the bird made me think of the north. I said to myself that I would look into returning to the north to teach the next school year.

I made a short list of two first nation communities that were close to Timmins, and applied to them both. A week later I had an interview in one community. Then a few days later I had a job offer. 

To get to the point, when I arrived in the community of Fort Albany, I saw a lot of gray jays. The birds were mostly found atop of the short tamaracks or spruce trees of some thirty feet tall. From their vantage point they would look around. Then they would swoop down, quickly flap their wings and glide so more, land and sample what they hoped was food.

I followed a gray jay to a teaching community. Further proof that my life is directed by the birds. 

I have been sent ahead of the others. I am on a mission. If I return, then the lakes are clear for us as a flock to advance north.

Such a lonely job. Just me. I quietly flap. I keep my eyes looking ahead. I pass over trees, and places of no trees, with strange things of different shapes once and a while. Then there are those strange creatures on the ground with small skinny wings, but I never see them up here with me nor my flock. 

Over some trees … ice. Some water along the shorelines. We can eat the tall grasses along the shores. I’ll turn around, and back to the others. I’ll file my report. Someone else can take the lead. 

To the shoreline we go. No fallen friends. Have to keep a look-out for moving trees along the other shoreline plus a flash of mini-suns. Dip our heads under the water, extend our necks through the cold water and peck at the roots of food. I am nudged by something. I look up to my left and there she is. She closes her right eye briefly and opens it. My left eye looks at her right eye looking back at me. This is goose speak for love interest. A mate? I flap my wings back and forth several times … She moves near again, nudges me, throws her neck under water. Up with some food as she munches on it. Hmm. All I had to do, was wait? Be myself and she would appear? 

Watching out for hunters. 

To cut the chase, we had eight gooselings. 

I hung out with the other guys, eating, sitting on the grass by the shoreline while getting warm.

There are dual vibrations: a high number like love while there too is a low number which is the sleepy state between awake and I want to fall asleep. The Milky Way’s black hole sends out two vibrations at the same time (both high and low). This coming from my goose spirit in the sky. Otherwise I would have to include this in the non-fiction section. In Western astrology, the Milky Way galaxy is in the sign of Sagittarius or nature’s higher law, and our solar system revolves around the Milky Way. Me being in the opposite sign, Gemini, the writer’s mind and communication. 

I believe that a bird will visit a short time after someone has passed. 

I visited a home that lost a loved one, and knocked on the door. As I waited for someone to come to the door and listened for any signs of movement, I turned to face the street. A couple of seconds later a gray jay flew right before my face, and then I turned my head to the left to see the bird land on the electrical wire going to the house. The gray jay hopped around 180 degrees and looked at me, as I looked back at it. 

My description of the boy who had just passed away, was that of a lost spirit. Now a part of his spirit inhabited a bird that represents: survivor, friendly, tough, and find the humour in everything. The bird hopped around 180 degrees again, and then flew away.

I turned to the door, and knocked on it again. A long pause as I listened to silence. My student of the morning was not awake nor was he coming it seemed. I returned to the bus.

Those on the bus noticed that the jay nearly flew into my head. 

I believe that its presence was not an accident. That day, part of the son’s spirit was in that bird. He was near to his home, and was keeping an eye on his family. 

The earth shakes as I turn my head. Over the hillcrest appears an elephant trudging along. A dusty old elephant male, his head jostling side-to-side along with its stride, as I sit up in the bare tree. He heads down the hillside, an unhappy guy … 

To the bottom of the gully he goes. Stops. Turns around to see his left side, he cries as the tears flow from his eyes, into the dirt below its head. Drops fall from the heavens too, onto his head and mine, adding to those around him as he continues to sob away. Such a sad big animal … 

The water flows down the hillside towards the elephant, adding to the basin that it stands in, kind of like a shallow bowl, to water around its feet, a heavy downpour, I shake it off, my feathers getting wet. It snaps out of it, turns for the hill, and steps out of the water, up the hill as the rain slows. The sun remakes an appearance as the heavens turn off the spray. Up the hill it gaits. Why is it so sad? I could fly over the hill, and find it later, to see where it is going, and who it is with. Some clue to its misery. 

The next day, the earth shakes again, turn my head from overlooking the pool a little smaller than after the rain yesterday, amongst the sunlight, the elephant reappears with its head down at the ground before it, trudging. So unhappy again. Down the hillside it goes, shuffling along. I just wait for food to drop dead nearby. I will eat then. An elephant will last me days as other birds and animals come along to feast too. 

He re-enters the water, and starts to sob, the tears well up in his eyes, the drops land into the pool, A CRACK OF THUNDER, the sky opens up and the rain starts to fall. This guy has great timing.

Cry your tears

Cry your fears 

Heaven joins in

The rain starts to fall

Adds to it all

A pool of sadness left behind

The water rolls down the hillside, brown swirls add to the pool, around from all sides, an oval sized pond gets deeper. Movement to my right! Look that way! A rock moves, not a rock, a turtle slowly moves ahead, water flows behind it, and into a channel that the turtle blocked the way. The turtle moves forward munching on something it must have got from the wet mud. The pond drains some more as the water flows. 

Cry me a river …

Look to the elephant as the rain slows, it has noticed the exiting water too. And the turtle. It turns around more to its right, shuffles to its hillside, and out of the pool, up the bank. I shake off the water. Between the turtle, and the elephant, must be fish in that mud. Look to the turtle, arced to the pond, must want more to eat. Can’t sit around much more, have to get up, flap my wings, lean forward and leap into the air, continue flapping as I gain height, curve to my left, ascend as the elephant goes over the hill, then so do I over to the other side, a herd of elephants off in the distance as the dust flies. Localized rain it seems. Parts wet and parts dry. The elephant does not want to show others its sadness. Alone it suffers, alone it hurts, alone it cries. Not knowing I’m here … Drinking from worry when there is sunshine much of the day. Sunshine makes the day joyful, hopeful, as I see a small dead rhinoceros below, swoop down as a pride of lions are off in the distance licking their bloody chops, full they must be as they lay on the ground. A meal to make me happier. The elephant thunders past. Gobble the meat down …

With a full belly, time to take flight again, can always come back for more as I head to my favourite tree, lots to look at nowadays with the turtle there and the elephant visiting two days in a row. It is moving towards the pack, does not show its true emotions in front of the others, can’t be its true self amongst the herd. Herd mentality, does not accept crying as a reality? Like it is a weakness? Must have a good reason, to cry just the same. Such a long way to go, to let it out. What could it be? Must have lost someone. Which relative? 

A large carcass and set of shortened and cut off tusks. Circle around it, looks like it has been eaten. Skin over the bones, well picked over, a recent passing. A glance by the elephant as it saunters by. Saddened it is for sure, much bigger remains than the crying elephant. Over to herd it goes, joins in with their feast from the trees, a small group of about seven, make that six. Probably its mother, definitely a female elephant deceased. A shrinking group, shrinking land. We do our best, as we live, and some die. Survival, have to make the most of it. 

Day 3: And the elephant is back again, into the muddy area, drained most of it from the unblocked channel, the turtle off to the side, sobbing the elephant goes, as its head bobs about, but no tears. It tilts its head down, looks side-to-side, empty. Dry. The elephant turns to its left, and around, head up to the river washed away. Its head over to the turtle, knows its there, around to this way, up at me, knows I’m in the tree. I look to my left and the elephant to its right, a small rhinoceros slows down on the slope, enters the mud too to near the elephant, they both look at the other. A pride of lions arrives, to fan out and surround the puddle, the turtle disappears into its shell and hunkers down to the ground. Oh, this is going to be good, lots of possible food. Look to the top of the hill! A cheetah stands there. Busy place today. A small monkey flies over the hill too! It runs along quickly as it veers to this tree! It climbs it shaking the old tree about! It goes to the other side, it turns and me to it as we look at each other! Fear it in its eyes! As it huffs and puffs trying to get its oxygen back. Look to the lions, moving away as the cheetah bolts off in the distance and past them! The elephant and the rhinoceros turning to face-off with the lions who turn and break into a run. The tree shakes, take flight, look down as the chimpanzee has descended, runs down the bank, towards the channel, over it and away. View the hilltop as not an animal stops with a circle of dust, a cage in the back, now a stand-off with the elephant and baby rhinoceros, the vehicle backs up, over the hill, turns to its right, stops, accelerates ahead, curves around the animals below in the mud, drives around them and past with the young elephant and rhinoceros turning with them speeding by. The mad monkey surely its target, circle. The elephant herd off in their distance but fanned out in a facing out from its center, on guard. The truck is closing in on the monkey as the cats are off in the other direction. Only so much land to run on, homes off in the distance. Our land is shrinking, if it isn’t hunger then it is poachers or people to take animals away. What is a vulture to do? Persevere, continue on. The monkey disappears amongst the homes as the truck slows to a stop into another cloud of dust. The occupants get out and start their foot search. Circle some more. No leftovers here, the elephant and rhino move out of the mud, up the hill together, finding in each other a new friend. Share grieving in common, having both lost one of their kind. And life rolls on. I’ll have to look for something small to eat today. Maybe find me a lizard. Oh look! A fish flapping about the mud! Dive down … flap flap flap! Grab it with my talons, got it! Up and over to the tree. Sit down, look down, and peck at the meal. Some protein to balance my diet. And a crackle from above! Drops fall from the sky. More rain.

I was standing outside in the winter time, with a bush fire before me, watching the flames, old snow surrounded the small blaze of tamarack branches, spruce bows and stumps, plus alder branches. It was a sunny day, with the wind at my back. In swooped a bird within my vision. I looked up to see the gray jay in the spruce tree. It then flew even nearer to me, about five feet away. It sat on a branch covered in old man’s beard, greenish strings of moss on the old dried branch. The whiskeyjack was studying me it seemed. 

I thought: I did not bring an offering for the birds. A crow cawed in the distance. I then said, “Crackers” (the first thing that came to mind). A quick analysis and it has a 6, 6 vibration which ‘optimism’ also has.

Immediately the bird started to make noises, almost like a squirrel’s chirps, with then a squirrel moving across the background from right to left, some twenty feet away, across the hard-packed snow. The gray jay continued to chirp as we looked at each other.

I asked the jay what message it had for me. The bird continued to inflect its voice as it had plenty to say. It flew to another nearby tree, now a few feet away from my head as it continued to make noises. It dipped its beak into the beard, then into the bark. The tree or nature provides.

The jay flew to another tree behind me, and between me and the river. I apologized for not bringing crackers and promised to do so next time. I searched a pocket that might contain food and found two white sugar packages, but said that it would not be good for the bird since it was white sugar. 

The jay moved to another tree and continued its banter. 

I realized that I was trimming the bottom branches of the trees and it seemed to like those as it used the leftover ones for our near eye-to-eye contact points. 

The bird flew up to the first spruce tree and more to the inside of it. I started to feel empty, almost sad. I came to make a fire, to continue cutting a trail along the river, to get some exercise and fresh air, yes hoping a bird or animal would drop by for a visit, I hung my head, looked at the snow next to the fire. Why did I feel so empty?

Was I taking too much from nature, for my own pleasure? Yes, I was cutting a trail so that I could easily travel along the river to view the approaching spring break-up of ice, and later in the fall after the black bears left for hibernation. But was I taking or cutting too many branches when I could have been burning scrap cardboard in a community that does not have a recycling program because we are too far away from the facilities? Plus, I thought only of me, and did not pack an offering. What exactly was the gray jay saying? Could I use interspecies communication to interpret its message? Instead of Grizzly Adams who talked with the animals, I more like listened and received from the animals: the crow, the highly communicative gray jay, and the squirrel in a matter of minutes. 

Crow: live in the now, knowledge. 

Gray jay: survival, find the humour in everything, friendly, tough, should be nesting this time of year. 

Squirrel: an animal that moves during the day, collects, prepares for the future, don’t take life too seriously, finds only one tenth of what it stores. 

Were the animals to represent people in my life?

I looked to the fire, appreciating what I had before me. 

I went down the trail, and collected the branches that I had already cut. I took mostly dead branches or bushes. Today I had accomplished my winter goal of connecting the west section of the trail with the east section from the fall. There were a few sites left of wood to burn. I had fire sights along the way as well as cut alder branches that served as poles to hold my kettle. I already had had my tea over the fire today. I added the branches to the fire. A building mound of coals around a stump that I burnt too. My big red parka blocked the wind. I had the parka for over sixteen years, wore it much less than that, burn marks from previous fires. 

I sensed another bird nearby. I turned to study it, a red grosbeak. Red like my coat. Red to symbolize Mars energy and where to place to it. The continued study of nature, and its cycles. Look to the sun in one’s chart, only moves a degree a day. Can only take life a degree or day at a time. Move like the squirrel for food during the day. The red finch happy to get a berry from a low-lying bush along the riverbank. Just a single bird or squirrel, just like me. They are out for survival, I’m out to connect with nature and to find myself some more. Grateful that my cycle continues.

I watched as the branches turned into coals … I tossed snow from around the fire to douse it completely. Back on the snowshoes went. On with my backpack of supplies. Packed down the trail section that I loosened into sugary snow, and back the other way. Grabbed my walking poles, one of them bent, and walked out the long way, looking too for a boot’s ice gripper that I lost the previous weekend. Lots of rabbit tracks. Up river I headed, where the water flows from the past. Easy to walk as the trail was packed down from prior visits. Content I was. Still not sure about everything the gray jay had to say. Happily tired. A few days more before the season would change to spring. Needed the snowshoes only for the bush, took them off at the powerlines, and carried them and the poles home. Content with life as it was. 

P.S. If birds are our ancestors, then this jay was one of mine. I could not tell if it was male or female. I am guessing that it was male because it was not big and fluffy (pregnant) like others I had seen recently.

The lonely turtle, it is so sad. Just one. It stands up and its head pops out of its shell. 

Hey! I’m alone too. I spend my time by myself a lot. Sometimes when I’m eating, I am joined by other vultures, my family of birds. 

He doesn’t do much. Just finds the fish. Slow moving. Does not move much at all. Did not see it move in a whole day. It looks around. It moves off, towards a patch of green grass that I hadn’t noticed before. Going to take it along time to get there …

What does it do? Eat, rest. Must think too. Gloomy it seems. Not sad like the elephant was. Not happy like the lions seem. Maybe it’s tired. Maybe it’s old.  Maybe it feels slow because it is on its own.

They drive by with the young monkey and the cage in the back of the vehicle as it jumps about and complains. Caged. Where is it off to? Why can’t it be free? 

Born free 

Until man comes

And takes us away 

Or shoots us 

To take part of us away

As our numbers dwindle

Another rock moves, I didn’t notice that one before.  Another turtle. Slow too. What?! They must rest a lot! 

6, 6, 6! In angel numbers it means: heed the warning or pay attention as an important message is near (http://www.ask-angels.com/spiritual-guidance/666-meaning/). In the development of the numbers to letters alphabet, only the fox animal stands out! Find it below:

1 = A, J, S.  2 = B, K, T.  3 = C, L, U.  4 = D, M, V.  5 = E, N, W.  6 = F, O, X.  7 = G, P, Y.  8 = H, Q, Z.  9 = I, R. 

Near to the fox (if the above was in table form, have not figured out how to do that on this web template) is the word ‘den’ if you connect the neighbouring letters. ‘Pond’ is present too. ‘Wog’ can be found as well. ‘Fed’. The fox left its den and fed on something from the pond. Oh no! It ate a frog! No wonder foxes have a reputation of being sly. 

On a ride back to Fort Albany from Moosonee via the winter/ice road, we stopped the SUV taxi for a stretch break. I went to empty my bladder when I realized I was being watched. I stopped in my tracks, turned my head and exchanged eye contact with a black fox as he/she sat on top of a pile of snow. I called out his presence to the others. One of the riders took a photo of (I think it was a him). 

The driver suggested that he was hungry and wanted some food. A green apple was tossed before him. The fox bolted for the apple and quickly grabbed it, turned, climbed the snowbank and ran off down his trail! 

I continued to move away from the others and noted the sign that said something like: ‘Do not leave garbage as it will attract animals’, and saw a pizza box on the ground. Obviously, people did not obey the sign and the fox knew it.

On my way back to the taxi, the fox reappeared, this time, he climbed down the snowbank and continued to approach me. A little too friendly he was. I continued into the taxi while closing the door behind myself so that he did not enter and feast on the remaining food. All we needed was a fox stowaway. Everyone had their stretch, and all climbed back into the vehicle, minus the friendly fox with a door closed before its snout. 

Once again in life, I saw a lot of fox tracks on my weekend excursions, but no actual foxes. I thought the foxes in these parts would be red or arctic white, but this one was black. Black like the time of day when they come out, with the day’s darkness appearing. A little excitement for our trip. A trip does not seem complete without an animal sighting. Just like people, the animals appear if they get a treat.

It would not be fun if you were all alone, content maybe, but not fun. So, I held a party, all were welcome. 

Elephant showed up. And turtle. Cheetah came lurking in. Rhinoceros sauntered in. Monkey too.  We were like one happy zoo. A happy zoo?!

If only the animals are rescued and need a home. Not captured animals, taken from their homes and brought together to be behind bars. I think they call that prison. Why I do not agree with animals being held in captivity. Surely there is enough land for us all to roam. I do not like animals being used for entertainment either. Free my tiger friends!

Let us munch on what we normally do. Let us gather around the watering hole. Who is that up there? It is vulture. He watches us. If we falter, he will clean us up. Left to be bones, a carcass.  Someone always waiting for us to drop dead. 

“Aren’t you the life of the party”, says Vulture. 

Lion: “I am just happy that we are all together. Even you, up in that tree, the patient one.”

Elephant takes a drink from the pond. Then so does turtle. Cheetah licks it up. Then so do I lion. Rhino takes a lick too. Chimpanzee cups his hand into the water and draws the water to his mouth. Refreshments!

Lion: “Although, some food would be nice.” 

Everyone else snaps a look at lion!

Lion (looks at each one in turn): “Elephant, you are too big. Turtle, you are too small. Cheetah, you are like from the same family. Chimpanzee, you are not my type. Vulture, you are too high in the tree. Rhino, well …” 

Rhinoceros backs up from the pond, “You are supposed to be the life of the party.”

Lion: “I am, and hungry. And with life there comes …”

Rhino (nodding his head): “This horn can hurt. I must defend myself.” 

Cheetah turns to Rhino and slinks his way. Chimp scoops a handful of mud and throws it at Cheetah, stopping him in his tracks. Everyone else but Rhino look at Chimp! Elephant siphons up some water, S’s her trunk, casts it out and sprays towards lion who backtracks in a hurry! Rhino turns and walks off. Turtle slinks down and pulls its head under its shell! Chimp scoops up another handful of mud, looks to lion. Chimp draws its mud arm back, lion glances to Chimp as Elephant places the tip of its trunk back into the water. Lion turns away from Chimp and breaks into a run! Glance over at Rhino, trotting off as he looks back to make sure he is not followed. Look back at the watering hole, the trunk and Chimp turn to Cheetah, who breaks into a run in the direction of Rhino! 

Cheetah’s pace quickens as it pulls with its front paws, and pushes with its back paws, building up speed quickly and elongating its stride! Everything it does will be with exclamation marks! It kicks up dirt as it quickly catches up with Rhino who glances back and slides to a stop! Rhino spins around and lowers his head! He draws his front right hoof back with a kick up of dust! Cheetah slows and puts on the brakes, shortening its strides with head up as it banks a turn to its left and clearly runs around and past Rhino! It continues to slow and circle as the dirt flies off from its paws! Rhino moves to its right to try to keep Cheetah in its sight! Maybe I will get some dinner! And not have to fly too far away! Cheetah completes its turn and slows some more! Curves to his right and to the left side of Rhino who continues to turn its whole body to face Cheetah’s body! Cheetah runs right and breaks into a quickening stride having given up on Rhino! Oh, no! So quickly! Cheetah runs behind turtle still low to the ground and elephant who watches Cheetah run off! Into the distance! To join the other cheetahs stalking the wildebeests. No more quotation marks. Turn and look at Rhino. He turns around, and walks away. Look over to the pond. Chimpanzee throws the mud off the shell of the turtle! Just one more mark! Monkey turns away, runs and knuckles off from the pond … Elephant takes a drink. Elephant turns and moves away to its herd beyond the wildebeests. Leaving just turtle and me.

Cheetahs are fast! The fastest land animal on earth! (https://earthnworld.com/top-10-fastest-land-animals-in-the-world/).  

Just when I think life is getting heavy, a squirrel makes an appearance! “Don’t take life so seriously is its totem!” A reminder to then lighten up. 

Squirrels are a solar animal. They come out during the day. Although I have heard one around here, during the night, running around the soffit at minus thirty degrees Celsius. I think it is in the ventilation system too as I can hear scratching going on.

Its big black eye, watching me. Yes, I see you too. He/she does not like to make direct eye contact. It busily searches for food, always finding something. I saw it with a chicken leg bone in its mouth, running up to its roof entrance. Hopefully not into the attic with the bone! I thought squirrels were vegetarians! 

Keep busy and warm must be its meaning too! Certainly, have to do that during the winter. I need to get out more. 

A squirrel scurries up a fence post and to its top! I pause as I walk by along the road, it turns to me. Its two beady eyes looking at me? Ease up I think, you will meet a red squirrel today … Later I met a person with the name whose vibration was the same as ‘red squirrel’.

The squirrel crosses the road before me from right to left, pauses on the roadside, long enough for me to ask: “What message do you have for me today?” The squirrel continues on, down and through the ditch, up the other side, and away into the bushes. Don’t take life so seriously is the answer today.

A squirrel chases another! They have so much energy, going around and around, up and down the snowbanks, up a tree, down a tree … I hope no one thought I was chasing a squirrel.

I see a squirrel. Within the day or 24 hours I see a particular person with the ‘red squirrel’ vibration while I try not to take life too seriously.

A red squirrel jumps onto the garbage box. It turns its back to the south. Usually the squirrel faces the south. That was odd. I thought it should face the other way just in case a dog comes after it. 

Within about ten seconds that was exactly what happened! A golden lab ran down the street on a mission. How did he see or sense the squirrel from so far away?! 

At the last second the squirrel sensed danger as it both turned slightly towards the dog and leapt in fear! The squirrel ran towards my residence with the dog in hot pursuit! Then a BANG! The dog must have barrelled into the house out of view! I was on my cellphone at the time on hold. 

The dog appeared with the squirrel in its mouth, turned and faced the house. The dog dropped the squirrel which slowly moved its limbs. I thought to distract the dog. I knocked on the window between us. The dog picked up the squirrel between his teeth and chomped, then looked up at me. That did not work! The dog lowered his head and dropped the squirrel onto the snow. The squirrel moved its arms and legs slower than before. I went to the door. 

I opened the interior door. I knocked on the glass of the exterior door. The dog picked up the squirrel in between its teeth, chomped, and then ran off with the squirrel the way he came. 

Such a big dog, and such a small snack of a squirrel. No more squirrels into the attic or overhangs. 

A week later, a smaller squirrel appeared on the garbage box. This time facing south. 

Saw the smaller squirrel running about for months. 

Rhino walks up and joins the others at another watering hole. They each turn to honour his presence. Into the pond he saunters. He stops away from the others. 

His mouth opens and his belly grows. Bigger and bigger. 

The rhino exhales as his belly deflates (I did not get eaten today. I got to see my family again. I am lucky. I am free.). 

Rhino moves towards the others, and gets close to his kind. 

Hanging out is the best he can do.

Breathe in, and the belly grows (Let the air in. Let the stress and belly and air out. Calm down. You should be safe today.).

Out of a hat of course! Like the hat I saw while watching a magic show in Vegas by a famous comedy duo. The rabbit represents a person. 

Before my trip to Vegas, I saw a little rabbit at my camping spot. 

Rabbits are alert as they are prey to animals from above like the eagle and osprey. They are hunted by lynx, fox, and dogs too. The rabbits have to be quick to get away as they run around the trees. They use their sensitive ears to hear anything approaching it. They camouflage themselves to match the season: white for winter or brown for summer. 

A lucky rabbit that takes care of its liver. A good liver means that it is good to eat for a person lucky enough to snare one. Rabbit stew is good to some. 

A kind and sensitive rabbit to call a friend. Someone fleet afoot. A fellow walker and hiker. She could also pedal along with me some of the time. She could be a runner if she wants to get away from me awhile.

Guess why there are so many songs about love and partners. We want more than just our own company. 

We have to interact with those humans and let them know we are here too.

Out for a winter nature walk after over two months of other weekend activities, and finally I saw a rabbit, all dressed in white. I was surprised it showed itself to me, being the daytime. Near where it was, I and my friend, saw a fallen tree, where we climbed the bank, saw more rabbit tracks, and made a fire. Lots of dead wood right there, and without an axe we were able to secure enough material for a fire that lasted a few hours. 

Another Chimp caught and in a cage in the back of the truck as they pass by. Wonder where they will take it. Will fly in a while in their direction. 

Down below, the two men carry the cage into the much bigger than me bird. A hole in a bird?! 

Out the men come. Back to their truck they go. Get in. Drive away. 

The monkey is so small compared to the big bird. 

In the distance a group of chimpanzees are on their way. They all scatter off to one side as the truck generally goes in their direction, in behind some bushes. I’ll wait and circle here to see what happens. 

The chimps approach the plane, one stays at the corner of the hanger and looks off towards the way the truck went to. Looks like that is all the monkeys left in this area. Four into the plane. Almost all gone. Taken away. 

A man walks out of the other side of the hanger. He curves to the plane and as he does so a female lion leaps out of the plane towards him as he jumps to a stop! The lion swerves around him and towards the look-out monkey, past it and off in a dash into the grassland! The plane starts to rock side-to-side to which the man directs his attention! He undoes a snap on his right hip. He pulls out a pistol and points it to the plane. A ramp at the back of the plane appears to which he looks. Out bolts a baby rhino! Off to the open space of land! A turtle makes its way out of the back of the plane, slowly of course, ever so slowly. A snake slithers out of the doorway of the plane, onto the stairs as the man backs up. The five monkeys scamper out of the back of the plane and towards the far side from the man side of the building, the sixth monkey joining them in their run away. Mad they are but desperate to break free from lock-up for the rest of their lives. Never to see home again! Never to come back! Pets maybe until someone gets scared of their might! The man shakes his head, replaces the pistol as he steps back to the hanger, turns and ventures back inside. 

The truck in the distance returns towards the plane as it snakes its way, curving one way slowly in a wide arc, then the other. A search pattern for sure. Looking for the escapee and his friends and family. They might be free, but for how long?

The monkeys make their way towards the elephants. Given their size, they naturally provide protection. Will they go live in the same trees that the elephants eat from?

The monkeys go to the elephants, who have already turned to face-off with them. The monkeys jump up and down, then a few of them point to the airport. One of the monkeys reaches out and grabs another monkey, and pulls on it. That main monkey lets the other go, then crouches down into a tight ball. The main monkey puts its arms out to parallel to the ground; pushes up on its legs and looks up its nearby elephant. The monkeys turn and walk away. The elephants follow. 

At the airport, the monkeys wait at the corner of the hanger, three elephants move to in front of it. Two of the large elephants, go the plane, fore and aft of the wing, while the third goes around to the other side of the hanger, and blocks the door with its backside. The two elephants by the plane, move to against it with their tusks, rock the plane, forward and back, with increasing motion to flip it onto its roof! The two elephants plus the others join them to stomp onto the plane with one foot, and crush it, staying away from the propeller! 

Off in the distance, the truck appears on its way to the airport, as its two occupants are joined by the cheetahs followed by the lions in the wake of their dust, to the cheetahs taking the lead, the vehicle slows as the driver and passenger look off to their sides nervously given the company. The driver looks ahead and speeds up! The cheetahs split to the sides as a rhinoceros stands still in their path and that of the truck, but it is not alone as two others step out from behind it, forcing the driver to take evasive action to his left, putting the truck onto two wheels as it swerves to avoid the solid obstacles in their path! The truck slows and rejoins all four wheels to the ground, then accelerates away from the airport and into a new direction, with the chasing animals easing up.

A bit of justice. The elephants return to the grassland with the monkeys following their new friends. The last animals in the shrinking grasslands make their last stand. But for how long?

After getting a new teaching assignment in Fort Albany, Ontario, Canada, I felt that birthdays were especially important and needed to be acknowledged. I made birthday cards or gifts for my colleagues. 

They were each unique. I made them out of paper or cardboard for a few months, in their colours or to match things that they liked. 

The others months I painted pieces of wood scraps from a local sawmill. The characteristics in the wood influenced the painting. A knot in the wood would become a sun or moon. A knot may also become part of an animal or bird. I included my dual vibrational values like ‘grateful’ on some pieces to match the individual’s birth number.

You get what you give.

On a birthday, I received a similar painting on wood, with numbers but minus the words. And there was a moth on it. When I was presented with the gift, I analyzed the four numbers individually, not realizing that they were my birth year which had to be stated by the artists. 

With some research on moth totems, the moth always moves to the light. And I should do the same. This past week, I saw the first moth of the season (this being mid-May). 

Thank you, Zack and Joel, for the painting!

Update  to this story, November 2, 2019: On Halloween this past week, a moth came to visit my porch. I placed a plastic container over it, and then the lid. I released the moth outside, but it flew onto my pants. I used the lid to scrape it off my leg. Again it landed onto my pants. I flicked it off my pants a second time, and it flew away finally. Then I thought of its meaning. 

The moth wanted in, inside, plus it landed on me. The light that I should fly to is inside of me. A similar message as to the writings and speech of the late Wayne Dyer. The veil between the living and the dead is closest this time of year, hence the festivals of the Day of the Dead or the Day of the Souls when we should respect passed family members.

As I walk along, I see the pigeons feasting on the path; the red and yellow wing tipped blackbirds in the grass with their black spotted and brown feathered young, amongst the brown ducks with blue and purple streaks; the lone Canadian goose floating along; the gulls in the distance seated upon the lake, and the lone different coloured pigeon which was mainly white with brown brushstrokes, accepted and eating amongst the otherwise gray pigeons with various coloured throats. Only one lone goose, and one lone different pigeon. Both are accepted amongst the other birds. How easy it is for them not to be judged. If only us humans were the same. 

In this adult world, we have a lot of choices, but it is up to us individually, to make choices that fit our higher self (the self we really want to be for our positive benefit for the long-term in life). 

We can be like others, or we can be our best. 

A) Car Rentals: Clarify with the agent that the upgrade is ‘free’ otherwise do not accept it for personal use. Check prices online as they vary from company to company. Remember that the bigger the vehicle, the more safety you have, but also the more money you will pay for gas.

B) Hotels: Sign up online for a reward program, sign-in and check the recent offers, book a room online through the program and save money versus calling the hotel directly as the manager will always want to make more money by adding charges you do not use nor want (like a safe charge, answering the telephone when you called them, I want to charge you some money because you used your points to pay for your room).

C) Taxi or Bus or Subway or Train and Walk: We need to walk for exercise anyway. A community bus ride will be way cheaper than a car rental or a taxi. A taxi from Toronto Pearson Airport cost me $44 ($50 with a tip) to Brampton and only $4 by bus to return to the airport. 10 bus days x $8 cost me way less than a car rental would have cost me (about 10x more). The Up train from Pearson Airport to Union Station in Toronto took only 25 minutes at a cost of $12.35 which was far quicker than by car and less expensive in gas plus parking. The subway in the city takes you cheaply about too. We are in love with our vehicles while we have to insure them, maintain them, and fuel them while we could instead be a little more patient and study the wildlife that comes to visit the trees or grass nearby.

D) Food: Take-out from a neighbouring Walmart or grocery store.

E) Room with a view: Crowne Plaza Niagara Falls (11th Floor with a balcony to see and hear the falls); Super 8 Timmins on the west side and the second story to view the city, Gillies Lake, Kamiskotia Mountain in the distance, plus the sunsets.

Natasha was her name. She was a chestnut brown horse. I was seated on a cushioned metal chair upon wood chips and sand at Grail Springs in Bancroft, Ontario, Canada. She stood behind me inside the coral. Other adults were inside the ring too. She breathed over my right shoulder and kicked my chair … 

Of course, when a horse is involved, there is some degree of interpretation. The right shoulder or side represents creativity. I have to be more creative or use my creativity. The kick in the chair was literally a kick in the butt (remember I do not like to swear). 

So, Natasha’s message to me in the healing circle was to: get your butt into gear and use your creativity. 

And I did, starting with the non-fiction story ‘Elephant Cries a River’ creating it from my teaching of autistic students. The elephant was sad, an emotion, used to convey unhappiness in students not getting their way. One extreme of moods. The lowest feeling. With then the subsequent stories: ‘Gloomy Turtle’ to ‘Mad Monkey’ being other emotions. To be happy is the middle or balanced emotion that we strive for and should live for. 

I am not a mad bird. In fact, I am not a bird at all.

I’m not a whale, but I do have a tail.

I live in the water. Could have been a penguin. Same colours I think. No, I do not have any yellow. 

I have a vibration of: 7, 1. 

I live in the water. I like to watch the sunset. 

I like to swim and dive.

I am part of the dolphin family, but I am not a dolphin.

I live in a pod. We have had a hard time lately. I am so sad that I get mad, but that does not help. As we are having problems, having children. If we don’t have children, then we as a pod will not exist no more. It is frustrating. Stress does not help. Getting upset, does not help. I need to relax. We do not control the water. We do not control the ocean. We do not control the cycles. We do know that the earth is changing. We exist. 

We continue to look for food out to the west of Vancouver Island. What else can we do?

We look for the child within. We look to play or be playful. We swim and jump out of the water for the people in boats. Many different people come to watch us. 

We have many sharp teeth. Some of us, are taken, to be not free, and swim in small tanks. 

We have been given a bad name. 

I don’t think my mother had that in mind when she named me. She was mom who asked who is the most beautiful of all. 

I have learned not to make the same mistake twice. 

Humans, can you help us?

We give you entertainment. 

What is happening to this world? 

It is getting warmer. Maybe that in itself has prevented us from having calves.

Have you guessed what I am?

I could eat a bird. Birds came to watch us too. 

I am large, but not the biggest in the water. 

We just want to grow in numbers. 

Help us. We help you.

Water represents emotion. Emotional health. 

Water feeds earth. It makes plants grow.

I am an … I used 'an' so I start with a vowel. 

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